Session 4: "Do whatever he tells you."

Luke 2:40-52 Jesus at the age of 12 in the Temple

Read Luke 2:40.  Luke is describing the child Jesus as he grows up.  What do you think Mary is doing during this time?

She is feeding him, changing his diaper, teaching him words, nurturing him with tender caresses and kisses, teaching him chores, teaching him the moral law of right and wrong, singing psalms and hymns, praying with him, including him in the many rituals and ceremonies and prayers that made up a Jewish life of faith, cooking, cleaning, talking with him about the people around him and all the things a mother talks to her son about – both consequential and mundane, and the list goes on.

She is also watching, pondering and treasuring, praying for him, etc.

Look at how verse 52 describes Jesus’s development.  What was Mary’s role in his growth in wisdom and grace (or favor) in the eyes of God and people?

How can we help the young people around us to grow in wisdom and grace as we watch them grow?

Considering the early threats to Jesus’s life, Mary and Joseph might have decided to keep him secluded in Galilee.  Yet verse 41 tells us that they went to the capital city Jerusalem every year, presumably taking Jesus with them.  Would you have brought Jesus to Jerusalem regularly or tried to keep him far away?  What do Mary’s annual trips to Jerusalem tell you about her?

What happens to Jesus on the Passover trip when he is 12?

As they were journeying back to Galilee, why do you think it took Mary and Joseph a full day to realize that Jesus was missing and not caravan of people heading home?  Were they neglectful?  Does it tell us something about his maturity and their trust in him?  How do you think this could have happened?

How do you think Mary feels when she realizes he is not in the caravan with them as they head home?

When they return to Jerusalem, they search for him for THREE days – presumably with Mary growing increasingly anxious as they look and look and look without finding him.  How do you think she handled her anxiety?

Do you ever feel like you are losing track of Jesus in your life?  If so, how might Mary’s way of dealing with the missing Jesus be instructive?  She retraces her steps, going back to where she last saw him.  How might that be useful in your own spiritual life?

Sometimes, the best thing to do is, like Mary, to go back to the habits, patterns, and practices that nurtured your relationship with him previously.

When they find Jesus, Mary’s question to Jesus is, “Why have you done this to us?” (Luke 2:48), which implies that she thinks he knew he was making them anxious.  Do you think he knew he was making them feel so anxious?  If so, why do you think Jesus did what he did even though it would cause his parents so much anxiety?

Jesus doesn’t answer with an “I’m sorry.”  His answer in verse 49 is not comforting at all.  What does he say, and what does it suggest about his growing sense of his relationship with Mary and Joseph?

How do you think Mary felt about his answer in verse 49?

Verse 51 tells us that when they returned to Nazareth, Jesus “was obedient to them.”  He didn’t become a bratty or disobedient teenager.  Why do you think Jesus, who was God, was obedient to them, who were just humans?

How do you think Mary felt about the teenage Jesus?

Verse 51 also tells us that Mary “treasured” or “kept” all these things in her heart, echoing verse 19 after the visit of the shepherds to see the baby Jesus.  What do you think that meant, as she lived a real life?

How do you treasure or keep the things that God has done in your life?

Do you also “treasure” the puzzles that you don’t fully understand yet?  Would it be good to do that?  Explain.

Verse 52 has sometimes been interpreted to mean that Jesus grew mentally (in wisdom), physically (in age), spiritually (in the favor of God), and socially (in the favor of other people) – that is, in all the ways that we hope young people will grow over time.  How does the idea that Jesus grew in all these human dimensions encourage you?

Looking back at Mary’s overall handling of this traumatic incident, what can you learn from her?

A footnote: People sometimes wonder if Jesus had bar mitzvah.  “Bar mitzvah” means “son of commandment,” i.e., subject to the law.  In modern times, it is performed at the age of 13.  There is no reference to bar mitzvah in the Bible.  People try to make connections to things that happened in the Bible, like Abraham sacrificing Isaac at age 12, but none of them look like the Jewish ceremony of bar mitzvah.  No scholarly sources have provided evidence that bar mitzvah existed as a practice in Jesus’s time.  The general consensus is that it did not originate as a ceremony until the Middle Ages, at least several hundred years after the time of Jesus.

The next time Mary appears in the Bible, Jesus is an adult.  Before we look at that passage, let’s read a few verses that tell us what Jesus does when he first starts moving into his public ministry.  That will give us the background for the first story in his adult life where Mary is mentioned in the story.

For each of the following passages, consider this question:  How do you think Mary reacts to these things that Jesus does?  What do you think her perspective is?  (By way of background: On the one hand, he is around 30 years old (Luke 3:23).  On the other hand, he is still her son and has been living with her up to this time.)

Matthew 3:13 Jesus goes to his cousin John to be baptized

Jesus is going away to see what his cousin John is doing at the Jordan River, so in a sense he is going to see family.  However, it is a journey of more than 80 miles – further than the trip to Jerusalem.

How do you think Mary feels about what Jesus is doing?

Matthew 4:1 Jesus goes out into the desert and is tempted

How do you think Mary feels about what Jesus is doing?

Matthew 4:12-13 Jesus moves out of Nazareth to Capernaum

Capernaum was by the Sea (or Lake) of Galilee, roughly 40 miles away from Nazareth.  That means it was a walk of several days.  Walking there involved a drop in elevation of more than 1,800 feet (which means a walk back to Nazareth would require a climb of more than 1,800 feet).

How do you think Mary feels about Jesus moving to this bigger city, relatively far away?

Matthew 4:18-22 Jesus starts calling disciples

How do you think Mary feels as she watches Jesus begin to call strangers to himself, teach them, and build a following?

What is our role as we watch someone who was previously ‘under” us (or in our charge) begin to spread their wings and move out in more independent directions?  (This might be a child who is growing up, a work colleague or mentee, a fellow church member who takes on a new responsibility – for example, as a new Bible Study leader, or other situations.)  How should we handle that change, and what should we do if we find the transition hard?

Before we look at our next passage, let’s consider two background questions:

• In John 1:35-51, John tells us that Jesus went to see John the Baptist, who was baptizing people a long way away from Galilee at the Jordan River, and then Jesus returned to Galilee and gathered some disciples.  He had not performed any overt miracles yet; it appears that he was just teaching.  Why do you think he started with teaching and not with miracles?

• At this point in his life, Jesus is 30.  He is fully God, and he is also fully human.  How do you think he feels about his mother Mary?

John 2:1-12 The wedding feast at Cana

In verse 3, Mary does not make a specific request of Jesus: she just identifies the existence of a problem.  Why do you think she approaches it that way?

Are there times when a little vagueness or ambiguity, like Mary practices here, is a good idea?  Explain.

Jesus’s response in verse 4 is literally, “What, to me and to you, woman?”  This is a Hebrew expression that was used to suggest indifference to the concern of the other person while leaving the outcome ambiguous.  When someone said this, sometimes the request was fulfilled and sometimes it was rejected.  Why do you think Jesus initially chooses this ambiguous response?

Jesus calls Mary “woman.”  The scholars generally think that this was not necessarily rude but that it did show that he was not responding based on his familial connection with her.  Some think he is indicating in advance that if he does a “sign” or miracle here, it will be by his own decision in accordance with his Father’s will, not because of some human weakness in giving in to his mother.  On the other hand, Jesus often did things only if people asked – healings, for example.  So perhaps it was a decision that depended on two factors: first, that it would be done only if he decided it fit with God’s will, but second, only if people cared enough to press him and trusted him enough to obey him.

Jesus has not yet done any miracles.  Yet Mary sends the servers to him.  Why do you think she puts her son on the spot in that way?

In verse 5, what does Mary tell the servers?

“Do whatever he tells you.”

How is Mary’s direction in verse 5 appropriate for us?  How can we apply it in our lives?

How can you know what Jesus is telling you to do?

In verses 7-8, the servers don’t know why they are doing what they have been told to do, but they do it.  How might that be a guide for everything we do in our lives?

What gets in the way of our doing what Jesus tells us to do?

How might we work to overcome our reluctance to obey Jesus?

Think about Mary’s approach in bringing her concern to Jesus.  How might it be a good model for us in bringing our concerns to Jesus?

• She did not hesitate to bring the problem to Jesus.

• She did not try to tell Jesus how to solve the problem but trusted him to handle it in the best way.

• She encouraged others to trust Jesus for how to deal with the problem they faced.

How can you grow in the kind of confidence Mary has, that Jesus can be trusted to deal with your problems?

Take a step back and consider this:

Mary does not know what is coming next, but she believes in Jesus.  Jesus has not shown his power yet.  She has not seen his miracles or his resurrection.  What she has is faith and the stories she has stored up and treasured for 30 years ago about God’s work in her life.

We (or at least most of us) have not been visited by an angel.  But we have stories of what God has done in the past in our lives.  And we know Jesus’s power and that he has risen from the dead and is still alive today.

What we share with Mary is that Jesus is alive and involved in our lives right now.

Is there a concern you think it would be good to bring to Jesus, or some matter where you feel called to trust in him that if you bring it to him, he can do something about it?  Bring the matter to him now, without feeling like you need to tell him how to solve the problem.

What would Jesus tell you about your concern?

Hear Mary’s words – “Do whatever he tells you” – whispering in your ears.  What do you think Jesus is asking you to do right now?  Is it consistent with what the rest of Scripture has already taught you?  (That’s a check to make sure you are on a solid path.)  If so, can you do what he is telling you to do now?  How?