Thankful for the Things I am Not in Control Of

How often are you thankful for the things you are not in control of?  Consider these wise words from a young man who is thankful for things he can't control.  How can we respond to a God who lovingly gives us so many good things we do not control?

Image by Rodrigo Rodrigues (WOLF ΛRT), provided by Unsplash via Wix..

A young Black man named Bryant Cole stepped to the lectern.  His grandparents, both over the age of 80, had died less than two months apart, and Bryant was at my church to deliver part of the eulogy for his grandmother.  Rise and Carl Cole had been pillars of my church for decades, always welcoming everyone, and deeply involved in the broader community.   I had been blessed to know them.

Bryant began his remarks in this way: “There are things I am in control of, and things I am not in control of.”

My mind quickly interpreted “things I am not in control of” to be a reference to the deaths of his beloved grandparents.  I’m not along in thinking of “things we are not in control of” as bad things.  We value being in control.  We don’t like dealing with things we are not in control of.

But that was not what Bryant was talking about.

His next words were a splash of living water in the dust of what I expected him to say:

“I’m thankful for the things I’m not in control of.”

He went on to explain.  Bryant was not in control of who his grandparents were, but they had a huge impact on his life.  As he grew up in the warm embrace of the family they nurtured, he was not in control of the support they gave him.  Once he was an adult, he made conscious choices to spend time with them, but he was not in control of the life-affirming relationship they cultivated with him.

The things we are not in control of are not all bad.  In fact, some of the things we are not in control of are among God’s greatest gifts to us.

Bryant Cole reminded me that we are often blessed by what we are not in control of, and the appropriate response is to give thanks to God.

All good gifts are sent by God

In the musical Godspell, Stephen Schwartz’s song “All Good Gifts” reflects on the harvest and other gifts we receive from the abundance of God’s love, and offers us this perspective:

“All good gifts around us

Are sent from Heaven above

So thank the Lord, oh thank the Lord for all his love” (Schwartz)

These lyrics are drawn from “We plough the fields and scatter,” a hymn written by Jane M. Campbell in 1861 that focused on giving thanks for the harvest.  Her lyrics were a rough translation of an earlier poem written in German by Matthias Claudius in 1782.

The image of gifts sent from above echoes the letter of James in the Bible:

“Every good act of giving and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow” (James 1:17).

The many good things we experience but cannot control are gifts from God.  He brings light into our lives and gives us gifts through the workings of the natural world and the people around us.

(It is worth noting that some of the things beyond our control hurt us.  God never does evil, but what we can’t control can cause great suffering.  That raises the whole issue of why God allows hurtful things to happen to us.  Making sense of pain and suffering requires a deep dive into the implications of free will and the purposes God had in making us.  I will address these issues at a later time here or in future blogs.)

What are some of the good things we experience that we have no control over?

When we talk about the things we cannot control, we are excluding the things we work hard for and can take some credit for.  We are talking about things like these:

• Grandparents (as in Bryant’s case).

• Parents, siblings, cousins, and unexpected friends.

• The good people who come into our lives by no plan of our own.

• The serendipitous “coincidences” that move our lives in a positive new direction.

• The job that turns out to have great co-workers and a kind and competent boss, which we couldn’t know in advance.

• The rain and sun, and the farmers and distribution system, that allow us to have food to eat.

• The accident averted on the highway not because of our great driving skills but by sheer “luck.”

• The teacher who turned out to be the perfect fit for you or your child.

• The doctor who found the right diagnosis the first time, while your cousin spent 10 years looking for answers in a murky medical maze.

• The airplane flight that wasn’t delayed.

• The pastor or therapist who had the right words to help you get past a trauma.

• The inheritance or bonus or contract offer that finally put some wiggle room in your budget.

The list goes on and on.  You can probably think of many other things you can’t control, that bless your life.

Thanksgiving is our response to the good gifts we receive

If you were thirsty and had no water, and someone offered you a drink, you would thank them.  Similarly, thanks is the appropriate response to the fact that we benefit from so many blessings that are beyond our control.

Having an attitude of gratitude is part of who God desires us to be.  The apostle Paul encourages that attitude:

“Rejoice always.  Pray unceasingly.  In everything give thanks.  For this is the will of God in Christ Jesus toward you” (1 Thess. 5:16-18).  [See 1 Thessalonians 5:12-28 for more on this passage.]

Why would God want us to rejoice always, pray all the time, and give thanks in everything?  There are many reasons.  When we do so, we learn to trust him more and we become more like him.  Part of the work that Jesus is trying to do in our lives is to transform us to be more like him.  That is our primary purpose in life: to become like him.  Through thanksgiving, we can enter into his life of joy and prayer.

Humble, thankful hearts

“All Good Gifts” from Godspell and the hymn it comes from take us a step further.  What could we possibly give to God in return for the love he shows us through the good gifts we receive that we cannot produce on our own?  Here is Godspell’s answer, taken from Campbell’s hymn:

“No gifts have we to offer for all thy love imparts

But that which thou desirest, our humble thankful hearts!” (Schwartz)

Our best gift to God – our only really meaningful gift – is a humble, thankful heart.  Humble, because we recognize that we are not God and have only limited control over the good things that come into our lives.  Thankful, because the blessings we receive are unmerited and unearned.  Heart, because we do well to offer our whole selves to the One who showers his love upon us through these gifts.  (And if our heart is truly in it, we will also try to be a blessing to others as God has blessed us.)

When we give our whole heart to God, it changes us.  It allows us to enter into the very life of God and experience the joy that comes with embracing God’s gifts.

We can all live more joyful and God-filled lives if we focus more on being thankful for the things we can’t control: the blessings that are pure gift and not the product of our own efforts.

Can we join Bryant Cole in saying, “I’m thankful for the things I’m not in control of”?